Poppy came home two weeks later, she moved from ITU to HDU and then in to the nursery for a short time while she was weaned completely off oxygen. She had been oxygen dependent for such a long time that she became insecure when the nasal canular was removed but she came home within two days of being taken off oxygen altogether. Having two babies at home was not too much of a problem; they had been so used to being in hospital that they were very quiet and slept most of the time. The difficult part was looking after two babies and trying to get in to see Molly every day with her siblings in tow. When all babies were still in hospital I would visit every day for hours but it was far more difficult to get the three of us ready and to the hospital before 2 O’clock to avoid queuing to park and then I would end up spending more time looking after Little Blaine and Poppy than with Molly which, was defeating the object. In the end Blaine and I decided to take it in turns to visit Molly but it would only be for a couple of hours each time. We really missed her and we felt guilty about neglecting her, not giving her enough attention, not spending enough time with her so, I started my Molly come home campaign, pushing for her to come home soon. I didn’t think a third baby would make all that much difference, managing two was fairly straight forward most of the time; How hard could it be with one more?

Ohmygoodnessme!!! How misguided can anyone be? This is the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Molly finally came home after 15 weeks and 5 days. She suffered one more infection on her lungs a couple of weeks before she was discharged and had to go back on to C Pap and then had to be weaned off of it again. She had to start taking her feeds from the bottle from scratch because she had had to go back to gastro feeding tubes and we thought it would take until Christmas at least to get her home. By this point I had really had enough and was beginning to not only feel the strain but to openly express my frustration. I knew Molly needed to come home, it had to be the best place for her now. She needed to be with her mummy and daddy. She needed to be back with her brother and sister and now she is home ,boy do we know it?

Blaine and I have never felt so tired in all of our lives. All we do is feed, change nappies, clean up sick, wash bottles, fill bottles, do washing and start the cycle all over again. They get through 18-20 bottles of milk and 24 nappies per day. Feeding is almost an endless cycle because it takes about and hour and a half to finish feeding all three. I never get more than 4 hours of unbroken sleep, 4 hours is good going- there’s always someone who refuses to sleep through the night. I rarely get a minute to myself to read or just sit, quietly, peacefully to listen to the radio or watch T.V. It’s a good job I’m a motivated kind of person and that I am very patient because this has seriously tested my metal. Blaine is sometimes glad that he has to go to work just to recoup his energy and regain his sanity. Sometimes I’m glad he goes to work to help me regain my sanity, because he is a pain when he is tired – a side I’ve not seen before. I’ve even been to Leeds to fetch my mum to help me out. I’m thinking of holding her hostage until they go to school.

Our house is a mad house but I would not change a thing. Molly is still oxygen dependent and is attached to a cylinder or a concentrator 24/7 but she is fit, well and taking her turn at giving me the run around. They have come so far and We are very very proud of all three of them. We find it difficult to remember just how tiny, vulnerable and fragile they were when I first gave birth to them, it seems like such a long time a go. Blaine and I have waited a long time to have our family together and now we are looking forward to experiencing the normal ups and downs that other parents suffer. Oh yes and a full night’s sleep.

After nearly 4 weeks I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I had raging hormones and cried at the slightest thing and then I’d get really frustrated with myself because I couldn’t control the tears whether I shed them for the good things or the not so good things that came our way. I’m so glad that Blaine and I are so strong together, we have kept each other going and we are getting a lot of support in many different forms from our family and friends.

The reason for all this emotional mayhem is infection. The babies are too little to fight the infections themselves and they also have a PDA which means a duct in their hearts aren’t closing and their lungs keep flooding with blood, this in turn means they have a lot of secretions on their lungs which keeps gunking them up and they have to stay on ventilators which provide oxygen.

The oxygen can affect their eyesight if they remain on ventilators for too long. There are also tummy infections which can be very serious indeed but, the babies are pumped with antibiotics at the slightest hint of an infection. Knowing this helps but the emotions you go through, seeing your baby become poorly and be prodded and poked constantly is heart wrenching.

Most people go through this with one baby and it is hard. Blaine and I have had to go through this with 3 babies, all taking it in turns at being poorly. Each good day is followed by several not so good days and a week of antibiotics and nil by mouth and another day and another week goes by and you still haven’t been able to hold them. It takes its toll and it is exhausting, you can’t afford to get ahead of yourself and take anything for granted.

You can’t go to the hospital with any expectations just in case one or all of them are poorly again. There are also times when other babies come in to ITU and don’t make it. Its heart breaking but it rams it home just how fortunate you are that your baby is alive and the outlook is positive even if they are poorly.

Blaine, Poppy and Molly are 7 weeks old today (33 weeks gestation if I was still pregnant) and were promoted from ITU to HDU earlier this week. All have had three weeks of being well, with no set backs at all. All are gaining weight and are making great big giant steps of progress. They are on target for coming home mid November but as always we are taking nothing for granted.

Cuddles are more frequent and we are as involved with their care as we can be. We change their nappies and feed them albeit through a gastro tube and syringe. Molly had to have an operation to tie her PDA and has recovered magnificently, she is a real fighter she is just shy of 3lb now. Poppy is just over 3lb and Little Blaine is a right chunk at 3lb 10. Our lives are never going to be ordinary and we don’t want it to be. We can’t wait to get our babies home and start our life as a proper family. We’ll take the madness in our stride and count our blessings that our 3 babies are thriving.

Oh yeah, we got the pram sorted, it’s a bloomin’ limo and I reckon I’m going to end up doing some damage trying to steer it. Should be a laugh!

So, I went for my scan on Tuesday 4th August and hoped the wheat grass had done its job, but there were still signs of mild twin to twin transfusion, it hadn’t got any worse but it hadn’t improved and the doc wanted to admit me and discussed consulting the baby doctors and starting steroids just in case. The steroids are to strengthen the babies’ lungs should they be delivered pre term. I negotiated coming home provided I came in again on Friday for another scan because I knew that once they had me in they weren’t going to let me go until it was all over; the idea of spending the next 3 or 4 weeks filled me with dread. Then I popped off down the corridor to have my blood pressure checked, oops (I think my reaction might have been a little more concerned than oops but what can I say). My blood pressure was through the roof so I was admitted anyway and I cried because I knew I was going to be kept in to try to get another 2 to 3 weeks if not 4 out of my pregnancy and the thought of being away from Blaine and my home for that long devastated me, plus raging hormones weren’t helping me keep things in perspective. Poor Blaine had done a 12 hour night shift, got in at 6am,stayed up to take me to the hospital for 11.30 and didn’t get home until after 2pm but, he didn’t complain once because he wanted to see us safe and settled in the best place possible. He didn’t want me to come home because he was worried that if anything happened or the twin to twin transfusion got any worse and the babies had to be delivered early it could be disastrous waiting for an ambulance or trying to make the 20 mile journey in rush hour traffic. When did he become do practical and clear in his thoughts? It looked as though our plans to go to Wales for a few days were off the cards.

Blaine came in to see me the following day around tea time and I mentioned having had trapped wind all day, very unlady like I know but if I could just do a big trump I would feel ok. It didn’t put me off my tea though and as I troughed my way through fish pie I said I might have to call a nurse to see if I could get something for it. We weren’t allowed to go to the parenting class at 7.00pm that I had booked us in for at the General because my blood pressure had gone back up and was far too high to be going anywhere even if it was only for 3 hours. Blaine left about 7.15pm just as I called a nurse to come and see to me. Then my dad’s wife phoned to see how I was getting on, ‘fine thanks’ I said as I crouched on my bed on all fours waiting for the cramp to subside. When the nurse arrived I was taken upstairs to wait for a doctor to come and see me. I didn’t know what part of the hospital upstairs was at the time nor did I know what was happening at first, why would I, I was only 25 weeks and 6 days pregnant. The doctor came and checked me over then told me I was 3cm dilated and yes I was in labour. How could this be, I just needed a trump? I wasn’t to know I was in labour; I wasn’t that far in to my book, it hadn’t mentioned the signs of labour yet. I was put on a drip with medication to stop the contractions and a dose of steroids for the babies that needed 24 hours to work and then I would need another dose. I still wasn’t worried because the medication was going to stop the labour but perhaps Blaine should be called, just to let him know I needed him, you know a bit of support until it all settled down. He was by my side at 9.15 pm within half an hour of the midwife leaving me to phone him. I think he was trying to break the sound barrier in a Passat and that’s when it all kicked off. All I said was I needed to pooh and within seconds the room was filled with a 12 strong medical team; I was 9cm dilated and ready to go. I apologised to Blaine that he would have to ring work and wouldn’t be able to do the overtime he was booked in for on Thursday night and that Wales was going to have to wait a bit longer. I still didn’t feel anxious or scared but this wasn’t in the plan. When the baby doctor said I was going to give birth to them naturally I mentioned that it wasn’t the plan. Delivering them today wasn’t the plan and please don’t leave it much longer to give me drugs, it really hurt. I was told only to use the gas and air when I had a contraction and breathe normally in between but I had to say there wasn’t any in betweens and I needed it!

The epidural was the strangest sensation I have ever experienced in my life. The anaesthetic in my back to enable the epidural to be given hurt more than the labour pains and I told them so. I told them that I didn’t like them anymore and I wasn’t their friend. My leg fell off the table at one point and I couldn’t do a thing about it. It was funny watching them have to catch it and place it back on the table. It was weird when they had to lift my legs up to put them in the stirrups because it felt as though they were still on the table and the legs, although I recognised them as mine, looked like mannequin dummy legs. I could hear the music in the theatre and I tried very hard to have Little Blaine out by the end of the Kings of Leon but it was very difficult and the song finished before I could get more air in my lungs to push. I’m not being funny but it is hard pushing a baby out when you can’t feel anything from the chest down, especially when you’re a novice and haven’t had to do any sort of pushing before. Surreal is a good word for describing my experience. All of the medical team introduced themselves as they started doing their individual jobs and I was upset later when I could only remember 3 names out of the 12! It’s amazing what you think of when your mind is affected by drugs.

I gave birth to Little Blaine naturally (not in the plan) at 1.25 am 2lb 5oz and to the girls by caesarean (the original plan) Molly at 1.42 am, 1lb 3oz and Poppy at1.43 am 1lb 13oz on 6th August 2009 (not in the plan). I didn’t even know that the girls had been born until I was told that I was going to be stitched up and it would only take about an hour. I saw Little Blaine briefly before he was hiked off in a plastic food bag to NNU. The plastic bags are to keep the babies warm on their journey up to Neo Natal but I didn’t get to see the girls. Blaine saw them all soon after when they were wired and drugged up and in their incubators. He brought photographs of them to me and then went home for some sleep about 6.30 am. I couldn’t go up until the feeling had come back to my legs and someone had come to give me a wash. It took 12 hours from being taken up to the delivery ward to finding myself back in my cubicle on the maternity ward. Then I was taken to a room of my own so that I could rest properly and not get upset by the sound of other mother’s babies crying. I was finally taken up to see my babies in a wheelchair when Blaine returned in the afternoon and I’d had some sleep and my bag of wee had been made portable, nice I know but this is the reality, child birth isn’t pretty or dignified in any way, shape or form. When I saw my babies guess what I did? Yep, I cried but only a little, the real tears would come later when the hormones really kicked in and I started to remember and re live the experience again and again as people wanted to know all the wonderful and all the gory details!

The 23 week scan had shown Molly was still growing slower than the others and Little Blaine was miles ahead but at least all were making progress and my dad had been very animated about it when he got home. The nursery was about finished by the end of the week and I had arranged a delivery date for my lovely new furniture. The room looks great with 3 little cots all lined up in a row and I keep going in to have a look and straighten things out even though they don’t need straightening. It makes me feel very maternal and soppy.

We went up to Leeds at the weekend to deliver the bed that used to be in the nursery to my mum, this means that we have somewhere to sleep when we go to mum’s in future but it also means there is nowhere to kick Blaine to if we fall out! I’m hoping that when the babies come along there will be far less need for a spare bed. He tried to make it on to the futon in the box room last week but only managed to make it to the floor with a duvet over him. The journey up wasn’t too bad with my pillow padded seat and my knitting to keep me occupied – I’m turning in to a right old fogie. My niece and nephew were very excited to see us and kissed my belly a lot. They were very surprised to see how big my belly had grown and wanted to know how long it would be before they could see the babies but were a little disappointed that I couldn’t or was less willing to get down on the floor to play.

My sister had already explained that the babies would be very small when they came out of my tummy so they might not be able to see them straight away. We went to a party to say farewell to a very old friend and my sister looked fabulous all dressed up in her strappy sandals and fitted trousers. I’m limited in clothes due to my size but at least I had my posh, expensive, flat sandals. I was mortified when I put them on, Blaine had to help me but we couldn’t fasten them up because my ankles had swollen so much. Damn these “cankles” (a friend told me that this is when your ankles and calves become one). We had a lovely time catching up with people from the past, you see, I’ve still got a bit of party spirit left in me but we did have to go early because the girls were up to one of their usual Houdini attempts. It was a good week after all and I did feel much happier and then we had another scan on Thursday.

Little Blaine is doing really well and is piling on the ounces; he’s about 1lb15. The girls however, have slowed right down and are not making as much progress as they should at 1lb 6 and 1lb 3. The doctor was concerned and explained that when she checked their blood flow it was intermittent and it looked as though Poppy was feeding Molly and if I was 30 weeks pregnant she would be happy to deliver them and there wouldn’t really be a problem but I’m only 25 weeks and she feels she needs to get at least another 3 to 4 weeks out of the pregnancy before delivery. It’s too early to deliver the babies. If they are delivered now I could lose both of the girls, but if they continue as they are I could still lose both of them. If we manage another 3 to 4 weeks I could lose Molly but Poppy would have a better chance of survival. She talked about giving me steroids; from what I’ve read this is to strengthen the babies’ lungs. I have to go for another scan on Tuesday and if she still isn’t happy I will be admitted for observation. My hormones took over and I was a blubbering wreck on Thursday.

I’m devastated because we have been doing so well and now there are signs of Twin to Twin Transfusion. It doesn’t matter that the doctor said there was a chance it could rectify itself. I couldn’t help thinking of anything but the worse case scenarios. The furniture arrived on Thursday but I could barely bring myself to go into the nursery and see the three cots because I might not need three after all. I couldn’t control the tears even when it seemed I was perking up a bit I’d start crying again involuntarily. You can never understand how it feels until it happens to you and the hardest thing is I can do absolutely nothing to stop or change it. It is my body they are growing inside that is supposed to be keeping them safe and it’s my blood pumping through their tiny veins that is supposed to be giving them all the nourishment they need but, it’s completely out of my hands.

Blaine has been very strong and is encouraging me to be strong. He is right in that it is no good for me or the babies to be getting so upset and I have to be positive and pray for the best. If it was really serious they would have taken me in on Thursday and if they are delivered early they are in the best possible hands. It still doesn’t take away the doubt and worry that keep coming to mind when ever I do something to prepare for the babies arrival or when I get time alone to think and brood. Its hard to talk to people about it and explain whet is happening because I get too emotional because my hormones won’t allow me to think practically and rationally.

Another phone call to mum was in order and I’ve taken to cleaning and being around friends to keep my mind occupied. Tuesday seems like a lifetime away and I’m getting paranoid that things are getting worse while I wait for my next scan. The spirulina, wheat and barley grass are out in force to try to keep nutrition as high as possible. They are supposed to be super foods but are they super enough?

The prize of Boori Nursery furniture has not only been a blessing but has also spurred me into planning the nursery and I even pinned Blaine down to a day to take me shopping for other furnishings and to start painting. Yes, I am struggling to get up off the sofa and have had to admit defeat in being fully independent. I am having to let Blaine do things for me which includes taking me shopping. He’s actually not the worst bloke to go shopping with, he sometimes shows enthusiasm, especially if we are buying for him. I’ve officially broken up from school for the summer and nearly everything was finished in time. Well done me!! Looking forward to putting my feet up and to my dad visiting for a few days to help decorate the nursery, all well and good, but then the word pram cropped up again.

A simple word you might think, innocent and small, but oh no, no, no, it is an evil word. It has caused so much angst and will probably continue to do so until it arrives.  The story of the pram started about 2 weeks ago.Blaine started researching prams for triplets on the internet, a highly essential piece of apparatus; he even gave up catching sun rays on his days off or in his spare time to surf the net. If you are buying a pram for one or even two you can go to any baby providing outlet and buy off the shelf. If you are buying a pram for three newborn babies you are stuffed.

We started with TAMBA and looked for advice and information on their website. It provided some good feedback on the type of pram that you could choose from. Should we go for a tandem stroller or a triple width ways? If we go for three in a row width ways how do we do simple things like get through shop doors, go in to town or even eat out if we will ever be able to afford to do so again? Why does it need so many wheels and handles and why does it have to be so bulky? If we go for a tandem how easy is it to steer? Does it fold easily? Do you have to buy car seats separately, which ever one you go for?  All of the reviews were pointing towards a triple width ways pram. Ah, but can you get one from birth? Not really. Let’s look at a tandem; can you get one in this country? Yes, with great difficulty.

Eventually we found one after a week of researching and surfing. Twins UK have a tandem pram on their website, hurrah! You can buy the frame with car seats that clip on to it and can be transferred easily to a base in the car without disturbing your precious cargo. I contacted them to clarify a few details and costs with them.‘Yes this is the only one of its kind that you can buy in the UK, but the company has stopped supplying them. They have given no reason for withdrawing their product or any indication when, if at all they will begin to supply them again.’Bother, blast and for goodness sake came to mind (not really but now that I’m practising to be a responsible mother I thought I’d better rethink my language). So, we started again.

Finally we have found a company in The States who manufacture a ‘Triple Decker Stroller’, but the story doesn’t end there, to cut it short…There are two frames, one is cheaper but we can’t get the seats for it in the UK and with shipping costs we decided we would have to buy the car seats over here. We have ordered the more expensive frame, shipping is expensive and the car seats over here are also expensive we will also get stung quite heavily for excise duty when the  frame arrives, so in all the pram is going to cost us about a grand all because our own country is failing to provide necessary products for parents of triplets or families with three or more children under 2.

This is where a lot of the stress comes from, all the hours of going round and around in circles, contacting companies, trying to keep costs down, getting our hopes up and then having them dashed, then finding out I’m going to need to take out a second mortgage just to be able to transport our little brood around and this is before I’ve even started buying Boots wholesale. I even got my wonderful Uncle Kevin who lives over in the States on board with researching and looking for products only to say we’ve changed our minds. Now I feel like I’ve messed him about and sent him on a wild pram chase. The cost of triplets is really hitting home and is giving me sleepless nights.

We have a fantastic support network and we’ll have to get family and friends on board with paying for this damned pram. We’ll have to ask them to not buy lovely toys and things but to club in towards the pram. My dad offered to buy a pram for us but that was before we found out we were having three and Blaine’s mum offered to buy car seats, but I can’t expect them to foot the bill on their own. We seriously need sponsorship of some description, either that or a hefty lottery win. I don’t want to be greedy for millions, a few thousand would do.

We had another scan yesterday and took my dad with us. I thought it would be nice for him to see his grandchildren on screen. We got a lovely picture of the girls face to face, it looked like they were planning their escape or when would be a good time to give me a kick. I think he was pleased but he didn’t say much, but he never does when it comes to emotions and feelings.

All babies are growing well, particularly Little Blaine, he is massive compared to Molly. Dr Khare was pleased although, she did mention that she thinks Poppy has more fluid than Molly who is about 10 to 14 days behind the others in growth but, as they had all made progress she wasn’t concerned but it needed to be monitored. Now I’m worried that Molly won’t be able to keep up and that they might need to be delivered early which makes me think of all sorts of negative scenarios. I was feeling so positive last week and happy with all of the kicking and wriggling that’s been going on and now I feel down and emotional. My blood pressure is up again and needs monitoring; I’ve to go see my community midwife next week to check it again. It’s so frustrating because I can’t control my emotions and can’t stop crying when I would normally be strong and be able to take it all in my stride. Being this emotional isn’t good for me or the babies. Why can’t things be straight forward? Everything Blaine and I do ends up being complicated and unconventional, even right down to starting a family.

We went for yet another scan last Friday. Our appointment was 8.55, we got there at 8.30, went straight in, out by 9.05 and in to see the midwife. Blaine worked a night shift and stayed up to take me so a swift visit was more than welcome for him. He really won’t miss an appointment. He loves seeing them on the screen and is starting to recognise the body parts and features. All of my paperwork was printed up to date this time so I could read and compare their growth progress. The midwife was impressed with them and told me to keep doing what ever it was I was doing because they were feeding well and were growing fantastically. My blood pressure was also down, phew! This means I’m doing well too. I can’t understand how this is, as I’m more tired than before and I’m even busier at work, still trying to get my paperwork done in time for the summer holidays.

The girls are planning an escape route and I can’t quite convince them that they are going in the wrong direction. They feel as though they are trying to pop out of the top side of my right ribs. There has been lots of little kicking and wriggling this week which is really funny and very comforting. Blaine has finally been able to feel them moving. They have been on the go non stop and as soon as I say ‘Blaine have a feel’, they stop. Then when he gets a dead arm from waiting half an hour and moves away, they start right back up again. I don’t imagine it will be too long  before he can see them jostling for space in there, it must be pretty compact, getting more like a student pad  than a well proportioned 2 bed semi.

We went for yet another scan last Friday. Our appointment was 8.55, we got there at 8.30, went straight in, out by 9.05 and in to see the midwife. Blaine worked a night shift and stayed up to take me so a swift visit was more than welcome for him. He really won’t miss an appointment. He loves seeing them on the screen and is starting to recognise the body parts and features. All of my paperwork was printed up to date this time so I could read and compare their growth progress. The midwife was impressed with them and told me to keep doing what ever it was I was doing because they were feeding well and were growing fantastically. My blood pressure was also down, phew! This means I’m doing well too. I can’t understand how this is, as I’m more tired than before and I’m even busier at work, still trying to get my paperwork done in time for the summer holidays.

I read the baby’s growth reports on the way home, there were all of the usual measurements but this time there was estimated weights for them all. Little Blaine was estimated at 1lb1oz, Poppy at 1lb and Molly at 14oz, sounds very tiny to me but when I read my book the average weight at 21 weeks is around 13oz. Looks like they’re on track to be little tubbers or at least have a better chance of being over 3lb when they are born which, means there could be less chance of them staying in the SCBU. Target weight 3lb8oz – no pressure on me then! Just keep doing what I’m doing whatever that is. I’m putting it down to crisps and ice-cream. Hail and praise be to my local supermarket! Extra large bags of yummy beef crisps are now being stocked, life is good. I must remember to only buy 1 bag at a time and not be tempted by the very reasonable pricing.

We went to a friend’s birthday party on Saturday afternoon and received lots of stunned and amazed facial expressions and oohs and aahs as were introduced to new people as ‘the clever friends having triplets’. I had a bit of an ooh aah moment over a little baby boy who had been born at 35 weeks, was only 2 weeks old and just over 4lb. He was very tiny; his skin looked like it was hanging off of him because he didn’t have any meat on him to fill him out. Blaine was offered a hold but he dare not for fear of breaking him. I wanted to know what he was going to do when ours came along as they were going to be tiny too and born 6 weeks early if my cervix holds out, my uterus can stretch enough, I can keep my blood pressure down and pre-eclampsia and Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome at bay. Apparently it’s different when it’s your own. I take this to mean that he realises he won’t have a choice.

I’m not sure how I feel about the inside of my belly button, some things are not for public display I can see it quite clearly now because its starting to pop out and I’m not sure how I feel about these new boobs that insist on expanding daily, especially now they are beginning to resemble cantaloupe melons and are resting on my belly.

We have decided not only on first names but also on middle names as it’s a bit weird referring to them as baby 1, 2 and 3 and since the last scan they are looking more and more like proper human types. Blaine promptly announced their names on facebook as he has done with everything else relating to the kids so there will be no suprises for anyone, not unless the girls come along and turn out to be boys.

Blaine is becoming more and more excited and talks to my tummy daily and likes to kiss, rub and wish them all goodnight which could be considered a bit mad or wet or just plain lovely. I quite enjoy having my tummy rubbed gently, its quite relaxing and soothing.

I’ve turned into Seargent Major Pickering in my quest to get organised and prepared, making lists of things to buy, do and consider. 3 of everything – oh my god.

We went to look at cars today which was great fun until we talked finances. It depressed me that I won’t be able to afford to change my car until I go back to work after my maternity leave and that’s only if I can find child care that doesn’t cripple me and put me on the list of desperate and destitute crazy mothers of the world. Until then I’ll have to drive Blaine’s VW Caravelle van. All very well until I need to park it – must practise this and become an expert on missing kerbs and not scratching the precious alloys.

I only have 2 weeks left to go at work before the summer holidays and it can’t come soon enough. My blood pressure is on the rise and I’m trying to get as much paperwork tied up and completed as I can before the end of term but it worries me that I’m getting too stressed to get it all done – professionalism or stupidity I’m not sure which, but I do know that it’ll be feet up for the summer. I’ll have to see what the doc says on Friday, if my blood pressure is still on the up I’ll have to learn to let it go and accept defeat.

I’m reading ”The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth” by Kaz Cooke which is brill. It’s a great relief to know that your not going loop de la on your own. There is only one problem, everything is about having one baby, so I’m also reading ‘Twins and Multiple Births’ by Doc Carol Cooper. A far more sober read but very practical an enlightening, but again is geared up mostly for those expecting twins.

Maybe this is is how I’ll make my fortune, writing about triplets and how to use the prosthetic boob bought on the internet so that hubby can feed one baby while I feed the other 2!

Phew, my concerns were set aside after my last scan, all babies are growing fine and are all growing at the same rate as each other and to the average growth of singleton babies.

The first thing my doctor did was listen to their hearts which relaxed me imediately, then she got on to measuring them all. This time she measured the dimensions of the crown of their heads and the size of their bladder – apparently this is where they look for Twin to Twin Transfusion and finally the length of their femurs.

It didn’t take quite as long as last time to scan me but she asked if I minded 3 students being in with her. She explained that they might never see spontaneous monochorionic triplets again. Then another 6 students came in to look at the scans which was great but I felt like a bit of a celeb come freak show.

We did find out that as well as a little boy I’m also expecting 2 little girls, identical girlies, how lovely? It was very interesting and assuring. I’m geting bigger by the day and I dread to think what size I’ll be by the time I get to 34 weeks.

We’re half way there but it still seems such a long way off. Blaine is being a star but he has to learn that I am still capable of doing lots of things for myself and being a highly independent lady it is difficult for me to admit to things that I can’t manage. I said I’ll take more advantage of him when I start to struggle to get up off the sofa under my own power and succumb to his pandering.

We’re looking forward to the next scan in 2 weeks and wondering what parts of them will be measured next.

The kids at school ask me all of the time, how big will you get? Have you thought of names? Can we name one? Are you sure there are 3 babies? I’ve had to challenge them to finding new topics of conversation at dinner time. Everyone wants to know about the babies and I feel like I’m disappearing as a human in my own right. My brain is going ga ga talking babies.

I don’t seem to have grown much this week either. Do they grow in spurts? I just seemed to grow non stop for the first 14 weeks and slowing down so suddenly has started to make me nervous. I’m worried that I’m not giving them enough nutrition but I’m trying really hard to balance my diet with green stuff on top of pickled onion flavour corn snacks which, by the way, I think is a marvel that I’ve limited myself to one snack size bag every other day. I don’t class this as a craving, I’ve merely become partial to them. Corn snacks and milkshakes – a good source of corn (a whole grain) and calcium.

I’ve just been reading more on twin to twin transfusion which has also scared me a little after I’d just managed to put all of those thoughts to the back of my mind. I get nose bleeds every morning. The other morning I suffered 3 nose bleeds in the space of an hour but I’ve read it’s normal – I’ll ask at the hospital. I’ve bought a book on coping with multiple birth pregnancies but it still hasn’t arrived and I ordered it a week ago. I need to read and reassure myself that I’m doing everything I can to ensure my babies will be delivered safely and in the best of health. I need to prepare for what is to come, there’s no room for surprises right now. My next scan is Wednesday, at least then I’ll know if they have grown enough and if they are developing as they should. I can ask more questions and try to put my mind at rest.

In the first few days I went in to shock, mind, body and soul- completely.  I wouldn’t be able to continue applying for jobs. My career would have to go on hold. We would have to rethink our entire lifestyle. Too many questions, too many things to think about all at once… How did this happen? When did this happen? Were we drunk? What would we do? There was no question about keeping the baby, how ever we felt initially, we knew we would get used to the idea and all would be fine and amazing; and that’s what happened. Blaine became unusually practical, organised and his skills at forward planning were news to me.

As with everyone having a baby, we looked forward to our first scan and were excited about being able to see our baby and maybe listen to its heart beat. Family and friends were all excited for us and teased me constantly about how it must be me having twins because there were two sets in the family already and they are supposed to jump a generation but non of my cousins had had twins, oh! the hilarity! Twins ey? I would be mortified if it was twins. The thought of coping with two babies filled me with terror. Pah – erase that thought, it would be o.k. I wasn’t going to listen to anyone, there was one baby and that’s it! The appointment seemed to take forever to come around and then the day arrived; nothing could have prepared me for the news we were about to receive.

I laid myself on the bed, got myself comfortable and relaxed, holding Blaine’s hand and grinning like a Cheshire cat. The very first question the midwife asked me was,

‘have you been having fertility treatment?’

‘What!? No, why is it twins?’ All colour drained from my face, my grin disappeared and my worst nightmare began to become a reality. It was when she said there were three babies popping in and out of view that I went numb. Blaine can’t forget the expression on my face. He said it was void of any emotion and then the tears came. A million emotions came over me at the same time. I couldn’t understand how this was possible. I looked at Blaine and he was thrilled and shocked with a bit of crying in between. It didn’t take long to begin to feel the exhilaration. When I saw three tiny heads and bodies and realised they were in me, that we had created them, and I had been carrying all of them for thirteen weeks I felt so proud.

I still feel proud but also truly blessed. We have had some very serious conversations with our obstetrician about the risks and what could happen if things turn for the worse, but I can’t help putting those to the back of my mind and reveling in the joy of our three babies. We have since found out how special we are because we have created triplets without fertility treatment and how rare they are because they have formed form two eggs. Two babies share the same placenta and will be identical and one has his very own. I’m a two bedroom house, and I will be the size of a house, possibly the size of a stately home but hey, so long as Millets keep making tents for ten men I’ll be fine. We have to go for regular scans and I have to take extra special care of the four of us but we have an amazing support system between our family, friends and the medical team looking after us. We have been overwhelmed with the response from them and we have become minor celebrities. My poor dad has lost the power of speech  (that could be a blessing in itself). He said he was still in shock from when I originally told him I was pregnant and that I must be trying to give him a heart attack. He doesn’t realise I’m just after my inheritance early – I’ve got to pay for extra nappies some how!