Christmas update

My babies are eighteen weeks old now and I have had all three home with me for three weeks. Little Blaine came home after 11 weeks of being in ITU, then HDU. It all seemed a bit of a doddle really, how can anyone say motherhood is tiring? He was such a good boy; no crying or fussing, went to bed with no problems and only got me up a couple of times in the night for feeding.

Poppy came home two weeks later, she moved from ITU to HDU and then in to the nursery for a short time while she was weaned completely off oxygen. She had been oxygen dependent for such a long time that she became insecure when the nasal canular was removed but she came home within two days of being taken off oxygen altogether. Having two babies at home was not too much of a problem; they had been so used to being in hospital that they were very quiet and slept most of the time. The difficult part was looking after two babies and trying to get in to see Molly every day with her siblings in tow. When all babies were still in hospital I would visit every day for hours but it was far more difficult to get the three of us ready and to the hospital before 2 O’clock to avoid queuing to park and then I would end up spending more time looking after Little Blaine and Poppy than with Molly which, was defeating the object. In the end Blaine and I decided to take it in turns to visit Molly but it would only be for a couple of hours each time. We really missed her and we felt guilty about neglecting her, not giving her enough attention, not spending enough time with her so, I started my Molly come home campaign, pushing for her to come home soon. I didn’t think a third baby would make all that much difference, managing two was fairly straight forward most of the time; How hard could it be with one more?

Ohmygoodnessme!!! How misguided can anyone be? This is the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Molly finally came home after 15 weeks and 5 days. She suffered one more infection on her lungs a couple of weeks before she was discharged and had to go back on to C Pap and then had to be weaned off of it again. She had to start taking her feeds from the bottle from scratch because she had had to go back to gastro feeding tubes and we thought it would take until Christmas at least to get her home. By this point I had really had enough and was beginning to not only feel the strain but to openly express my frustration. I knew Molly needed to come home, it had to be the best place for her now. She needed to be with her mummy and daddy. She needed to be back with her brother and sister and now she is home ,boy do we know it?

Blaine and I have never felt so tired in all of our lives. All we do is feed, change nappies, clean up sick, wash bottles, fill bottles, do washing and start the cycle all over again. They get through 18-20 bottles of milk and 24 nappies per day. Feeding is almost an endless cycle because it takes about and hour and a half to finish feeding all three. I never get more than 4 hours of unbroken sleep, 4 hours is good going- there’s always someone who refuses to sleep through the night. I rarely get a minute to myself to read or just sit, quietly, peacefully to listen to the radio or watch T.V. It’s a good job I’m a motivated kind of person and that I am very patient because this has seriously tested my metal. Blaine is sometimes glad that he has to go to work just to recoup his energy and regain his sanity. Sometimes I’m glad he goes to work to help me regain my sanity, because he is a pain when he is tired – a side I’ve not seen before. I’ve even been to Leeds to fetch my mum to help me out. I’m thinking of holding her hostage until they go to school.

Our house is a mad house but I would not change a thing. Molly is still oxygen dependent and is attached to a cylinder or a concentrator 24/7 but she is fit, well and taking her turn at giving me the run around. They have come so far and We are very very proud of all three of them. We find it difficult to remember just how tiny, vulnerable and fragile they were when I first gave birth to them, it seems like such a long time a go. Blaine and I have waited a long time to have our family together and now we are looking forward to experiencing the normal ups and downs that other parents suffer. Oh yes and a full night’s sleep.